Random Slice of Fatherhood

Paul R. Brown @ 2008-10-29T04:50:29Z

Kid #1 has done a few interesting things lately.

After having trouble with waking up very upset and not able to explain herself on and off for the past several months, she's talked to me about a couple of her dreams:

  • A group of friendly giant spiders (the size of dogs) taught her to climb trees even if there are no branches close to the ground to grab onto.
  • A large cricket was poking people, but not in a mean way. She accidently broke one of its legs off while dancing around, but it still kept on poking people.

I had been thinking about getting a copy of The Phantom Tollbooth to read with her as a first bedtime story with a relatively small number of pictures (and because she'd appreciate the humor in it), but I don't want to inject any more surrealism into her three-year-old mind.

The other interesting thing is that she's apparently learning to read. I was doing some online banking, and she wandered over and asked me "Why does it say 'bank' up there?"; when I asked where, she pointed to the word "bank". This is not entirely surprising, since we play phonetic games at the dinner table and read to her (by her request) morning and night, but I wasn't expecting it to start happening. The downside is that the wife and I will have to come up with ways to obfuscate our conversations that don't involve spelling words.

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No, Dad, I'm Lowly Worm...

Paul R. Brown @ 2008-06-17T19:46:44Z

Kid #1 is doing well enough that sometimes I forget that she's just a little over three years old, but then she'll whip out a malaprop or mangle an idiom to remind me. For example, while she was explaining to me that she was Lowly Worm and I was Huckle the Cat, she tripped and fell flat on her face, and the following conversation ensued:

Dad: Whoa! Are you alright?

Kid #1: No, Dad! [somewhat exasperated] I'm Lowly Worm...

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First Twinklings of a Sense of Humor

Paul R. Brown @ 2008-02-26T22:49:30Z

As she's approaching her third birthday, the kid is showing signs of a sense of humor. We were in the car with the kid, discussing what to have for dinner, and my wife told her that we were going to have lamb, peas, and couscous.

kid: Dad, would you like some hotto-potaddo for dinner?

dad: [Decides to play along.] Sure; that sounds good.

kid: Would you like some hotto-potaddo for dinner, Mom?

mom: [Decides to play along, too.] OK.

kid: Hotto-potaddo for you, Dad, and hotto-potaddo for you, Mom. I will have lamb and peas myself.

I wonder where she learns this stuff.

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The Real Lesson in the Sneetches

Paul Brown @ 2007-10-10T00:25:17Z

The Sneetches is the kid's superfavorite book right now, and I've read it at least twice per bedtime (excepting the story about the two Zaxes and the bit about 23 Daves) every night for the past week. The obvious message in the book is about superficial differences and tolerance.

Call me cynical or jaded from doing a tour of duty as an entrepreneur, but I see another message in the book:

Stars, schmars. You want to be Sylvester McMonkey McBean.
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Backyard Arachnology

Paul Brown @ 2007-07-18T01:49:21Z
Tegenaria Agrestis?  Tegenaria Gigantea?

I spent some time cleaning up in our yard on a recent weekend, and in the process, I ran across a good-sized spider that I didn't recognize. It had a leg span of around an inch and a half — good-sized by Pacific Northwest standards — and my ill-informed initial guess was that it was probably a harmless and beneficial wolf spider. I've been trying to get the kid interested and informed about spiders, snails, bees, yellow jackets, ants, beetles, turtles, frogs, and other animals we come across, both in terms of identification and in terms of information (don't touch this one, touch that one if you want, tell Dada if you see one of these, etc.). I showed the kid the spider, snapped a couple of pictures, explained that it was a look not touch type thing, and it eventually crept off under the fence. So far, so good, too — ever since she got over her irrational fear of bumblebees, she's been both respectful and interested in whatever creepy-crawlies we come across.

Based on my knowledge of the spiders around my home town of Portland, OR, around 200 miles south of here, I made the assumption that the most dangerous insect or arachnid in the area was the mean and aggressive yellow jacket. However, after I did some Googling and reading to figure out what kind of spider we'd found, I may need to be more careful. The hobo spider (Tegenaria agrestis) is becoming common in the Northwest and has a very nasty bite, at least anecdotally. At least one source claims that there is no strong medial evidence to support the assertions that the spider has necrotic venom, but I won't be conducting any experiments.

The unfortunate thing is that the hobo spider is indistinguishable from its otherwise harmless cousins the Common House Spider (Tegenaria domestica) and the aptly named Giant House Spider (Tegenaria duellica) other than by size or by examination under a microscope. I exchanged a couple of emails with a friendly arachnologist about the spiders, and he claimed that I'd never heard of or come across these spiders in my youth in Oregon because they were introduced in British Columbia some time ago and have only recently extended their range into Oregon.

It turns out that I've got a few of the duellica living in the yard, and they are big. They're not tarantula big, but they're at least double the size of any other species of spider that I've seen in the region. Out of curiosity, I baited some of the funnel webs around the yard with dead yellow jackets and then wiggled the web with a twig to see who came out to claim the free meal. In one case, a spider with a legspan the size of my palm and a body as thick as my pinky lumbered out, grabbed the snack, and carted it back under the window sill where his web was. I'm on the fence between making sure that the kid knows not to stick her finger in the web and relocating the spider, but I'm probably going to take the relocation option. (I'd prefer not to kill the spider; the duellica is good to have around, as it displaces and/or kills the agrestis.)

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First Pet Food, and Now Thomas?

Paul Brown @ 2007-06-14T05:07:00Z

Just saw this over on Thingamababy:

RC2 Corp. Recalls Various Thomas & Friends™ Wooden Railway Toys Due to Lead Poisoning Hazard [...] Manufactured in: China [...]

While this is not necessarily an example of the same kind of wanton (wonton?) disregard for health and well-being as melamine in pet food and the ensuing food safety debacle, there won't be any more Chinese-made toys (or food or anything else) in our house until we've got a good reason to believe that their safety standards are significantly higher. As I understand it, lead paint dust is the major hazard as opposed to skin contact with intact lead paint, so the kid probably consumed very little if any lead playing with the toy trains. But that's not the point.

This is a failure on the part of the distributor to properly monitor and police their suppliers — someone at some level at some point knew better. Class action anyone?

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A Glimmer of Civility

Paul Brown @ 2007-05-24T03:51:26Z

While I'm fully prepared for whatever "the terrible twos" means for the kid, we had an entirely civilized father-daughter outing this past weekend, which is a far cry from some of our experiences past. She did largely as she was asked, where I mean things like not running around in the parking lot, not jumping into puddles, not climbing into the faux tide pool with the starfish. (The first stop on our father-daughter day out was the Seattle Aquarium, which was both overly crowded and just OK. I was spoiled by visiting the Shedd regularly in Chicago.) The kid's tour de force for the day, however, was sitting through an entire meal. Without being belted to her chair.

It was a great experience to just sit and have a conversation, albeit about whether or not bumblebees bite and what color lights are on top of police cars and fire engines.

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